I Feel Pretty"
by Katalin Bakonyi
Summary: A 'music video' fic starring Team Rocket, as they audition for the part of "Maria" in West Side Story. A midi of the song in the fic can be found here: (http://www.roadrovers.simplenet.com/catch/wssifeelpretty.mid) for those who are unfamiliar with the pl


Team Rocket

IN

"I Feel Pretty"

By Katalin "Kat" Bakonyi

([kblupous@home.com][1])

DISCLAIMER : Absolutely nothing in this little script belongs to me. Team Rocket belongs to Nintendo and Satoshi Tajiri, and West Side Story belongs to Jerome Robbins and Arthur Laurents. Reviews are more than welcome. ^_^.

FADE IN.

SEAMSTRESS SHOP:

A typical room, with bolts of cloth, a few sewing machines, some tables, and a large rotating mirror with a wooden frame. The music begins in the background, and Jessie prances in, dressed in a plain white dress with a red waistband. She twirls for the camera, the music "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story begins playing.

JESSIE

(Singing)

I feel pretty/ Oh so pretty/ I feel pretty and witty and---

James suddenly pops out from the bottom of the screen, shoving Jessie aside. He wears the exact same dress as her, including fake breasts, which he shakes gratuitously.

JAMES

(Singing)

---gay!/ And I pity/ Any girl who isn't me today! 

James spins on one foot and clenches his hands to his bosom, hopping up onto a table, sashaying side to side.

JAMES

(Singing)

I feel charming/ Oh so charming!/ It's alarming how charming I feel!/ And so pretty/ That I hardly can believe I'm real!

Suddenly, a pair of hands yanks the cloth on the table off, and James goes with it, making an empty thud on the ground when he falls. His legs stick up from behind the table, twitching. During this, the music is extended slightly, and quieted, repeating part of the bridge between refrains, giving Jessie time to get into position.

JAMES

(In pain, behind the table)

Ohohohoho--!

Jessie quickly jumps up on the table in James' place, dusting off her dress, smiling to the camera, posing with her hands under her chin. She blinks, pausing, and then hops off again, standing in front of the mirror, fussing her hair with her hands, smiling. The music has returned to normal.

JESSIE

(Singing) 

See the pretty girl in that mirror there? /Who can that attractive girl be? /Such a pretty face--

Jessie frames her face in her hands, smiling into the mirror, her back to us, but the camera can see her face in the mirror.

JESSIE

(Singing)

--Such a pretty dress--

Jessie spins around, letting her skirt puff out, and then turns back to facing the mirror, once again cupping her face in her hands.

JESSIE

(Singing)

Such a pretty smile/ Such a pretty me!---

Suddenly, as Jessie spins to face the camera, the mirror rotates, hitting her in the back of the head. She collapses on the ground with an empty thud. Meowth scurries out from under the mirror, dressed in the same dress as the other two, only on an obviously smaller scale. He's wearing a brown Mary Tyler Moore-ish wig. 

MEOWTH

(Singing)

I feel stunnin'!/ An' entrancin'!/ Feel like runnin'/ An' dancin' fer joy!/ Fer I'm loved/ By ah pretty wonderful boy! 

Suddenly, the mirror rotates again, hitting Meowth and making him fly up into the rafters. He yowls. James pokes his head out from behind the mirror, smiling for the camera, his eyes squinty, leaning against the mirror as it is horizontal to the ground now, posing there, his hands up under his chin.

JAMES

(Singing, VERY perky)

I feel pretty!/Oh so pretty!/ That the city should give me its key!/A committee/Should be organized to honor me!

Suddenly, Jessie punches upwards at the mirror, from where she landed on the ground in front of the mirror, making it flip back up to it's normal vertical position, smacking James silly as he falls to the ground behind the mirror with a thud. Jessie jumps to her feet and poses for the camera, smiling sweetly, making as dainty a pose as she can. 

JESSIE

(Singing)

I feel dizzy!

James pokes his head out from the side of the mirror, pulling a piyu at Jessie.

JAMES

(Trying to interrupt)

You're always dizzy!

Jessie ignores him, a vein popping in her forehead, slightly off beat now. James begins to talk to her as she tries to sing, at the same time, making a very bad counterpoint.

JESSIE/JAMES

(Singing/Trying to interrupt)

I feel sunny! 

I feel fizzy and funny and fine!/Because you're a ditz, and a mean one too!

Jessie growls and grits her teeth, the last lines of the reprise coming out with almost no note to them at all, completely out of key.

JESSIE/JAMES

(Singing/Trying to interrupt)

And so PRETTY!/You wish!

MISS A-mERICA can just RESIGN!!!!/'Cuz you scared her away! Ohoho!

Jessie growls and chases James around the mirror for a moment, obviously intending to inflict a great amount of bodily harm, the musical bridge is extended again.

JESSIE

(Enraged)

J-AMES!! What are you doing, trying to ruin my audition?!

James runs to the other side of the mirror, effectively keeping it between himself and Jessie as they shout at each other like the prima donnas they are.

JAMES

(Enraged)

YOUR audition?! That's a laugh! As if they'd want an underdeveloped girl like you to play the part of Maria! You can't even sing!

JESSIE

(Enraged)

Oh, like you can! At least I'm really a girl, crossdresser!

JAMES

(Enraged, faux crying)

Oh, ouch, that HURT! Boo-hoo! I look better in a dress than you, any day!

Suddenly, Meowth drops down from the rafters, primping his hair in front of the mirror. The music returns to normal. Jessie and James both form a counterpoint with his first line as they speak.

MEOWTH/JESSIE & JAMES

(Singing, ignoring the bickering/Speaking, upset)

See dat pretty girl in dat mirrer dere!/Hey! He's stealing my audition! & And he doesn't even have any breasts!

Jessie growls and jumps up, James as well, the two of them grabbing Meowth and turning to face the mirror, the camera seeing their reflections as they all try to shove each other out of the area reflected, and 'steal the spotlight'

JESSIE, JAMES/MEOWTH

(Singing, straining, fighting)

Who can that attractive girl be?/Who can dat attractive goil be?

Jessie grunts and shoves the other two aside for a moment, smiling.

JESSIE

(Singing)

Such a pretty face!

She gets shoved aside by James, who almost looses his balance, flailing to regain it, smiling, squinty.

JAMES

(Singing)

Such a pretty dress!/

Such a pretty smile!

Meowth suddenly pops up right in front of the camera, his face blocking out everything.

MEOWTH

(Singing)

Such a pretty meeeeeeoooowwwwwwwwwwwth!!!

Both Jessie and James leap up, smacking Meowth into the ground. The two of them are now mugging for the camera.

JESSIE

(Singing, loudly)

I FEEL STUNNING!

JAMES

(Singing, loudly)

AND ENTRANCING!!!

MEOWTH

(Singing, loudly, off frame, leaping up and down behind the two humans)

FEEL LIKE RUNNIN' AN' DANCIN' FER JOYYYYYY!!!

ALL

(Singing, VERY loudly)

FOR I'M LOVED!!!!/BY A PRETTY WONDERFUL BOY!!!!!!

Suddenly, the music screeches to a stop, as if it was an old-fashioned record that was getting scratched by the needle. Brock walks in from the front of the seamstress shop set (and we can clearly see the cameras and lights set up around it now, as well as the wooden beams that hold up the fake walls of the set. We only see the back of his head. He's dressed in a somewhat nice suit.

BROCK

(Excited, oblivious as to who he's talking to)

Hey! I'm playing Tony-- which one of you is going to be Maria?

The terrible trio pause their bickering, looking over at Brock with wide, terrified eyes. They all get sweatdrops and try to get away quickly, panicking.

JESSIE/JAMES/MEOWTH

(All at once, panicked)

Hehe! Well you see I'm just modeling this dress for the costume designer and--/Oh not me silly! (HE BATS HIS EYES) I'm just..helping her model!/I'm..da play's mascot! Yeah! Uh..why am I wearing a dress? Well uh--

Brock, however slowly it may be, begins to develop a nervous sweatdrop on the back of his hair. The three, still squirming, finally manage to bolt, all running in a different direction off camera, leaving a little trail of dust behind themselves.

ALL

(Together, terrified)

Look's like Team Rocket's running away again!!!

A big red curtain falls down, hitting Brock over the head, knocking him unconscious. He falls off camera as well, landing on the ground presumably, with a satisfying thud.

THE END

   [1]: mailto:kblupous@home.com



End file.
